HAND in HAND's
Gang Research Project

Quotes from HAND in HAND's Oral History Gang Research
in their own words

WHY KIDS JOIN GANGS

HAND in HAND’s research indicates that youth join gangs to have basic needs met as described by William Glasser in Control Theory

SECURITY/ SAFETY/FOOD SHELTER

"It was kind of like you had to be in a gang cuz if you weren’t in a gang, then they wouldn’t help you. And it’s only one of you and a whole school of other people that intend to hurt you so I got involved in gangs. You’re supposed to back up your homeboys all the time. Another gang came to the school and beat up the black kids in school. And then the day that I went to school, the Blacks retaliated and as I walked into the cafeteria, I could just feel a lot of tension. And I could just see black kids walking around, flagging the colors. I knew something was gonna happen. Then I looked over at the section where a lot of the Asians sit and they all had their heads down. It’s like if they looked at the Blacks, they would die. Cuz they were like gods or something. You couldn’t look at them. And they got mad at that. And then I got my breakfast. I sat down and five of them were walking towards me. And I looked at ‘em and then they said, What are you lookin’ at? And then we started arguing. And then he told me to step up so I stood up and the teacher came and pushed him aside. But then she was a lot shorter he was so she got scared when he swung. And he hit me and then we got into a fight. We were just back and forth. And then he pushed me down cracking me elbow and I couldn’t use my arm so I was just defending myself. And then the teachers broke it up and he ran out. And then I joined C-Dogs. It’s Crip Devoted Oriental Gangsters."

- Shepard. 17 year old Hmong American,
Saint Paul White Tiger

LOVE / FAMILY

"Um, well actually the gang I ran with, ya know, they, if you wanna talk about love, I seen love, yeah, I’ll be honest, I did feel love from them. Umm, they didn’t let nobody hurt me, ta me that was love back then. Umm, they supplied me with my addictions, umm, I don’t know, they introduced me ta people an things an ya know different negative activities, umm, love man, it was love an I thought it was family, they were jus like brothers ta me, every day we were together, man, it became jus like a family. Every single day you’re together, man, for a long period of time, people you know for, the same people, you’re gonna feel like, ya know, they are your brothers and sisters or whatever, so, that’s what it was, I felt, I felt loved. Every night man before we’d go our separate ways, back when we were bangin, we’d give each other a hug, tell..ya know, tell each other, ya know, “you got my love dog” ya know, keep your head up, when you’re out there, ya know, don’t let nuttin make you fall down. An, we did, we expressed our love to each other, we’d give each other hugs, ya know. Let each other know, I’m here, ya know, I’m only a phone call away, ya know. I don’t know if it was genuine, I know I did care, honest to God, I could feel it in me that I did care about them."

- Doe,19 year old Irish American,
Mankato Eastside Blood

POWER / RESPECT

"It just makes me feel like, more powerful than people, like, like they can’t do nothing to me cuz I’m just big and bad like that. If I don’t feel big and bad, I feel weaker. Like anybody can do anything to me. I would just be weak I’d be nobody. Just a weak person." - NeeNee

"And plus I felt pretty powerful. Ya know, I got to carry a weapon, I got to carry guns, people were scared of me." - Jesse James

"Where nobody messed with you, that was power. Where nobody, when people were scared of you...scared to confront you, that was power." - Star

"The power, you have an unbelievable amount of power. Just with a tattoo on your arm people are scared of you - Gavonti

I get my respect from what I, like what I do, ya know, bein a gang banger, an I get my respect like that." - Jessy

"I seen the respect and the fur (fear) in other people's eyes. I got respect! The respect that I wanted. The respect that I seen myself havin. The respect that I seen my older brothers, my uncles, all my other relatives havin." - Poet

"Yeah I want people to fear me. Fear is, when people fear you it is a powerful feeling. It’s got a lot to do with power man. People want power, don’t ask me why, it’s ahh, power’s like devil’s, it’s like devil’s candy, man. Ya know, the little bit a power the human’s get, that’s like the devil givin you a little piece a candy, man." - Doe

FREEDOM/CHOICES

"When I was at home, I never really stayed. I never even told my mom where I was goin’. I’d get up one morning and decide to go to Detroit to get drugs, sell drugs and I’d go to anywhere I wanted to. It was like I was grown or somethin’. I wanted to go wherever I wanted to go. I wanted to do what I wanted to do right then and there. And I never had to listen to nobody cuz I was always...I figured I got my own money. I can go anywhere I want and I’d do it. And that’s what the day was like for me."

"The gang has a lot of good qualities. It taught me how to stand up for myself. It taught me a lot of business, business trade, ya know. I could use that when 1 go to collage, marketing and everything. It taught me street smarts. I'll be a better and bigger man with education, plus I’ll have street smarts. So I'll never be nobodies fool, nobody will pull anything over me cause I’ll know what's goin on. I’ll know their game. It taught me how ta, commit to something, ya know, how ta, stand up for something that I was proud of. The whole time I thought I had god, but now I can stand up for religion. I can stand up for my God instead of the gang. See that’s kinda takin place of the gang is religion. It just taught me a lot how to be dedicated and how to stand up for myself."

- Gavonti, 16 year old Italian American, Duluth, MN Gangster Disciple

FUN

"The whole time I was getting drunk and causing trouble with da gang. Stealin cars, robbin people, beatin people up, jus man. Attempted murder charges, gun possession, everything, drug dealin, all tat, jus for two weeks and that was jus because 1 wanted to have fun. And tat was the gangsters way to have fun. Either deal drugs, steal ears, rob people, beat people up, or get a violation. And tat's the only way we could have fun."

- Gavonti, 16 year old Italian American, Duluth, MN Gangster Disciple

"TV influences it to a larger extent. Ya know, TV influenced me. I could sit an watch a movie now, ya know, an, an if I feel like I wanna be like that person, ya know, I’m fuckin 19 an ya know, I still get these feelings ya know, it’s like yeah I wanna be able ta do that, ya know. Or, music, definitely music, man music has got a hell of a lot ta do with it. Rap, listenin ta rap influenced me hugely. Ah, we use ta listen ta real hard core music. We didn’t listen ta like, well we listened to it too, like Snoop Dog, ya know. Ta us that was weak. We’d listen ta like Gangster Nip, Ghetto Boys, um, we listen, a course we listen ta all the Bloods music. Um, different, different rappers. Real, we listen ta real death hard core rap. They were like psychotic, satanic shit is what we listened to an, ya know, as a result of that, a lot a us were real psychotic, ya know. Um, cuz we sat an listened ta this an we be like hey, ya know, if we’re like that guy, ain’t nobody’s gonna fuck with us. So we would, we’d stride ta be as crazy an as bad an hard core as possible. An, boy, believe me we got pretty damn psychotic an mean. Hard core, whatever."

- Doe, 19 year old Irish American, Mankato Eastside Blood

HAND in HAND’s research also found that gangs provide the need for a supportive male adult figure in youth’s lives. This is identified as Father Hunger in the literature.

"It also taught me male relations. Like I said, I didn’t have no father so. You know, when you have a father, your first relationship with a male is supposed to be with your father. Well, my first relationship with any male was through the gang. And now it's easier for me to communicate with males and be more honest with males, instead of just trying to act all hard, and beat them down for their own opinions, you know."

- Gavonti, 16 year old Italian American, Duluth, MN Gangster Disciple

"I didn’t have a very happy life. The day I was born my dad walked outa the hospital room because I wasn’t a boy and didn’t...wasn’t very happy that he had a girl. And, I...I wasn’t the athlete that he wanted, I wasn’t ...I wasn’t anything my dad really wanted. And I just decided that I was gonna make myself happy and I felt loved by these guys. They made me feel comfortable, they made me feel like I was important, they listened to me, they asked my opinion and took it into consideration.

And that was something I hadn’t experienced my whole life , so yeah, I really loved my crew. I loved them all. They asked my opinion when it came to, you know, jobs they wanted to pull or whatever, they asked me what I thought. Well you know In sleeping with half of them, it really. When you crave that male attention, that helps you feel better about yourself, I mean that’s not a good way ta feel better about yourself, but that’s the way it worked."

- Babydoll, 23 Year old European American – Grand Rapids GD

HAND in HAND’s research also recognized that gangs become the family, they fill the parental role if the natural family does not accept this role.

"My real family life with my mom an brothers wasn’t there. My real dad I haven’t seen fer 7 years. My stepdad, he was a drug dealer, he sells..he grew weed in his basement. So, I really didn’t have a family life. My mom was never there for me, she was an alcoholic, drug user, so I used gangs as like a back up plan pretty much. Since I didn’t have a family in the real world, why not get like a secondary family ta take away, take away that empty space.

Then, my gang family became my true family an we...I would call my friends as brothers, that’s how close we’d gotten. I was thinkin at the time was somethin better than the real family life.

People saw us and thought we did the stereotype of being these big ass thugs. People who were out shootin people, killin people, when actually there was like a whole other part to us, an that is we do a lot a the same things as normal everyday families would do. Like, have picnics, we went ta Valley Fair 4 times last year, we went Go Kart racin, we’d always go out to the movies, we went an probably saw 12, 13 movies last summer. Um, we go chill at the mall, go shoppin together, go swimmin at the lakes together, uh we played softball an football a few times. An with my real family, we didn’t do a lot, we didn’t do none a that. I never did anything with my mom, an ta be doin all that with the gang family was somethin I dreamed of.

Cuz I mean we had all the money, money was never a problem to do all the stuff that we did. So, I mean we did anything an everything that we wanted to an I didn’t get ta do that like with my real family. So that’s somethin I really stuck to, was that value, what the gangs offered me."

- Desparado, 17 year old European American, Bloomington GD

"Gangs are good parents. They watch each others back. I mean you are always protected, you will never, ever have to do anything by yourself. You will always feel that you are cared about, special, and loved. And parents these days don’t make kids feel that way. They don’t, they don’t take the time, they’re too busy working, providing. Or too busy being drunk idiots. And that is quite honestly what is going on up north. In rural Minnesota, where everything is peachy keen and lovely and happy and hunky dorie, well you’re full a shit if that’s what you see, because 95% of the kids that were in our crew, had parents that were alcoholics and drug addicts, abusive, and they needed an outlet where they could find somebody that thought something good about them. And that’s where they found us. That’s how they recruit. that’s how we get our kids, we recruit them, we recruit those kids. The ones that look like they need something and they did, they needed somebody, they needed to feel loved at some point. Gangs are good parents, they really are. They take care a kids better than actual parents do.

There’s so many things that are positive and I think gangs could be a very positive thing in our society, quite honestly, if they could get rid of the violence. There’s a lot of positive. I don’t want people to think that all gangs are bad, or all aspects of gangs are bad. Gangs are bad because there is the violence in them. But, all aspects of gangs are not bad and if I can have any point come through in that the kids that join gangs are lacking in something. Whether it be parental love, parental attention, self-esteem, whatever. Find out whatever it is your kid needs and give it to them. So they don’t go seeking it from that area.

There is quite a love--family oriented feelings actually--that people get from gangs. It isn’t all negative, it really isn’t. Like I said, I love all those kids, like they were my family. I spent a long time trying very hard to be mad at Brad. I spent a long time trying very, very hard to hate him. But this man has been part of my life for 13 years. And, I tried so hard, I gave it everything I had to try and hate him and I can’t.

And, to be honest with you I probably took better care of my crew than I did my daughter. Which is sad, to me, it breaks my heart to say that, but it’s probably very true. Cuz, if I had been taking care of my daughter, I would not have been there that night. But, for so long I had put my crew first, on top of, before everything in my life. It was hard for me to break that. But, gangs are good parents. They really are cause I made them study after school and I took the drugs away from the kids..."

- Babydoll, 23 Year old European American – Grand Rapids GD

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